The most fantastic thing happened today. A guy came to the flat and fixed the hot water boiler! Maybe I should explain. For the past few weeks, the hot water in my flat has been wonky. The tap gives you not more than 5 minutes of hot water before it turns into a Siberian Ice Spring in deep winter. I've been taking really quick showers. People who know my shower habits will be gasping in awe and wonder at how I can possibly shower in under 5 minutes. After all, I am the one who is famous for taking hour-long showers. Well, now that the hot water is back to normal, I can go back to doing that.

I've been reading these academic texts, trying to research my essay (due on Monday). My new ambition is to be an academic scholar and write lots and lots of books just like the ones that I've been reading. Books that don't make sense. Books that pretend to be in English when they are actually written in Jargon-ish. Paragraphs that, once you struggle past the jargon, don't say anything worthwhile.



This History and Theory of Archaeology course gives me new ideas to ponder every lecture and seminar. Too many ideas and theories. They are messing up my poor brain. Soon, there will be nothing left in my head but a bloody mess.

I don't like the feeling of not knowing everything. I don't like to feel stupid. Actually, I don't like to feel less smart than anyone. I have to be the smartest ass, the brightest student, a rising star. I have to feel that I should be giving lectures to lecturers and be paid to do so. Yes, I agree that the psychology of me is weird and disturbing.

But you know, maybe if I believe, believe, believe that I am the most intelligent, well-read, charismatic person in the whole entire world, it will be true. Positive thinking, Audrey. Audrey is better than everybody else because she is intelligent, works hard and simply has a superior mind. Come to think of it, who needs positive thinking anyway? I don't. Not when I'm already THE BEST. (see, it worked!)

All of you should think like this too. Together, we will become the top brains of the world. Of course, I will always be far better than you.