Hello! haha poor little abandoned blog.

Anyway, I'm going to Northern Ireland to find Mr Seamus Heaney tomorrow!!! I'm so excited. Nah... I lied. I'm not going to find Seamus Heaney. But I AM going to Northern Ireland. YAY!! Still every exciting. I promise to upload at least some pics when I get back.

Life's been too boring recently, I need this break.

In the aftermath of LL, things seem so quiet and mundane. There is no one sleeping on the floor at night for me to irritate, no one to speak teochew with. Even Mehdi said that he wished LL was here to hang about in the kitchen and drink tea.

When you live a boring routine life like I do, every change is monumental and anything that can spice up your existence is fun. Back to the boring old days. You know, some people might think that handling real human bones of different types (adult, child, baby, cremated) is fun and interesting. But it's just another day at work for me.

I shall have to find something fun to do.

LL's (the sucker) Adventure

Hello, I have decided to piss LL off by blogging first. As she has lessons tommorow and is probably dying from a 6 hour bus ride and has to go to a friend's house for dinner, I am certain I will be first. hahaah neh ni neh ni boo boo.

So the first day LL came to York, she arrived in the afternoon. Amazingly, I was on time to meet her at the station. However, her bus had arrived early and so she made it seem as though I was late again. What a sucker. The marriage was doomed from the start.

So we walked into a pub where LL had sausages and mash and I had mushrooms with garlic bread. Before that, we had filled out bags with salmon for dinner. For dinner, I invited my friend Mehdi along.

We all had tepanyaki and were damn amused when things crackled and sizzled and threatened to kill us. That was our 'Reunion Dinner'

On Thursday, LL's second day in York, I had to attend a seminar in the afternoon and was forced to leave her alone in the city for 2 hours. I really shouldn't have done that. I should have been with her to keep an eye on her and protect the peace-loving citizens of York.

While I was stuck in King's Manor giving a presentation, LL dressed up as a Viking and went marauding in the city. She caused so much trouble that the local police officers had to arrest her and lock her up.

When I got out of class, I got a call from the police asking me to go down to the station to bail LL out. I didn't have the cash so I decided to try to break LL out of the station without paying the bond. Unfortunately, the escape was badly planned and we both ended up in jail for the night.

They let us out the next morning and we felt it would be best if we left town for a while. So we fled to the lovely seaside settlement of Whitby. We took a bus to Whitby. A 2 hour bus. LL was ok since she got used to 6 hour bus rides. But I was dying as usual. LL tried to sleep and Mehdi and I kept kachiao-ing her until she wanted to kill us. Then we let her sleep for about 10 mins. Then kachiao her again...

At Whitby, we met Grace. Grace was looking quite cute so we took photos of her. Hi Grace!

We climed up to the cliff where the ruins of Whitby Abbey were. Having just escaped from York Dungeon, LL and I were still quite attitude. See:

After killing Mehdi, we buried him in the graveyard behind Whitby Abbey. It was a grave mistake.

As he became DRACULA and kinda killed LL. Opps!

The obvious solution was to bury her in the same graveyard so she revived as one of the undead too. We then continued our tour of the ruins. We met some fluffly and nice yellow ducks. Obviously, our two extremely mature, 21+ yr old friends had to do silly things like talk to ducks.

Watever...

Watever...

On Saturday, we decided to be lazy and wake up late. We then took a train to Leeds. this time, we didn't kill Mehdi as we needed his services.

Because we went to eat in some funky Iranian restaurant where all the people were speaking Persian. Luckily the three of us were unanimous in our decisions. What did we want for lunch? Food. Food. Food. So ok, no problem.

Man!!! The bloody thing that was so damn fun about the restaurant was that there were cushions everywhere. Like, everywhere! And LL loved them.

Eat and sleep, like a little pig.
There was a lot of food. Seriously a lot of food. Look at that whole lot of rice left on LL's plate. She didn't finish her food. There was that much... It was good and cheap. For less than the price of a pub meal, we feasted like kings. You should have seen the food but we ate all the good-looking ones up. Maybe LL has pictures?

That night, I banished LL from the kitchen and baked her a brownie cake with blueberries on it. It was a pre-mix pack and I still managed to screw it up. I can cook many things. but the simplest baking thing will kill me. Why is baking so complicated??? Anyway, everyone politely pretended that the cake wasn't gooey and uncooked and that was our dinner. Of course, we were on sugar high after that. Me and LL didn't sleep til 3am. *we had lots of bedroom fun* ;)

The next morning after breakfast, LL and I took the bus to the station. We were early. So we went to the National Railway Museum. LL looked like an idiot who had gone to the wrong place. With her HUGE backpack, she was obviously heading someplace. It just looked like she was trying to board the exhibit trains... haha.

And at last, it was time for me to get rid of her. I kicked her into the path of an oncoming bus and this was her last pitiful look before she fell. Bye Liling!!!

It snowed heavily yesterday. During the heaviest part of the snowstorm, I had to cycle to King's Manor. When I closed my mouth, I breathed snow. When I opened my mouth, I ate snow. By the time I arrived at the city, I looked like a snow man and had to do a shake dance to get the snow off me.

Then, at night, the snow stopped. I went for caving training at the sports centre. When it was time to walk back, the temperature was around Siberian degrees celsius and all the melted ice had frozen. The grassy fields were plains of crunchy frozen plants. It was so foggy that every time I exhaled, I blew myself a personal cloud.

Luckily, when I reached my flat at 10.30pm, I was able to go to the fridge and get out the ingredients I had diligently prepared earlier and make a pizza! Completely homemade, including the crust. Yummy!!!

And thus I was saved from misery.

Hmmm.... back to the blog again. Maybe. LL is coming up on 21 Feb. So keep that in mind people. I'll turn on the webcam when she's sleeping and we can all have fun making a LL webcast. hehe. I did a tepanyaki dinner last night as a trial run for LL's arrival. My friends were quite amused. Yuri (Jap girl) was present as well but since she had her dinner before, she didn't have enough stamina to last the night. LL, this is just a preview of what we're gonna do when you get here. Man! we will have a good party in the kitchen and all play with chopsticks .When I'm bored, I like to cook nice food. Here's an example. I was so bored that I arranged each stalk of asparagus to form that pattern. The chicken came out of the oven like that since I arranged it nicely before cooking. Chicken with mushrooms and homemade garlic butter. Yummy! It's hard to starve when you are me. I didn't finish all that by myself in one meal, of course. But I did finish the rice. And my mother wonders why the rice is always not enough for me at home. Well, this is why. Ever heard of "Rice Bucket?"

See, there was an offer online and I bought a new bike. This is my new vehicle of doom. As soon as I get well enough, I'll be taking it out for a spin. I shall go see a nurse/doctor today to check if I have a chest infection since the cough is not cleared up yet.

Wow, it's been an unbelievably bad week for me and I'm hoping to God this week will be better though I doubt it.

My bike got stolen on my birthday morning which made me late for an important appointment. And I have to walk everywhere now in weather that has developed from shitty to horrific. Honestly, the wind actually blows me off course and it's so frosty that I got in one evening and found that my thighs were bright lobster red due to frostbite! I was so scared cos obviously, being from a sunny tropical world, I'd never experienced that before. I've got a crime reference number with my birthday on it which was the only consolation.

My flatmates baked me a cake which was very nice of them. However, celebrations were sombre and toned down as one of the girls was informed that her granny had passed away just half an hour before they had planned to surprise me. I felt so sorry for her and it didn't seem right to have a big party in the kitchen while someone else was grieving a lost granny in her room.

My family also went away to Korea on holiday without me and all except for my mum forgot about my birthday. Ingrates. I remembered all of theirs and called to wish them. Oh well.

I've also had the heaviest period ever. I'm not a person who normally likes to discuss such things but this was exceptional and I was seriously anemic and couldn't concentrate on anything for the spinning in my head. bloody bloody bloody is all I can add.

Which was unfortunate, as I had an essay to write over the weekend. Rushing for the deadline on Sunday, I realised I had forgotten about lunch at aroundz 3.30pm. It was too late to have a meal so I had to wait for dinner and my poor stomach was growling so much even though there was no dog inside.

The essay is done now, somehow, and it's in my bag, waiting for me to bring it to King's Manor. The sky outside isn't a pretty sight.

There were many other countless things that all conspired in a great big incredible way to make me miserable and irritable. argh!

I try to put all that behind me but the week ahead just seems worse. I've got an exam on Wednesday and a Lab book to hand in on Friday. I've also got to be all packed up by 5am on Saturday for my journey home. I've got a lot of un-ironed clothes strewn around my room, waiting for the hot metal and steam that I just can't be bothered and don't have time to give.

I need to bang Bang BANG BANG my head against the wall and kick Kick KICK KICK the world into submission. When will this end?

Maybe I build my expectations too high. I always prepare myself to be happy in December and now I can't remember why. And then bad things happen and completely upset my plans. Then I can't be happy and that in itself is a great disappointment.

Things just keep getting me down. So many times, I'd just gotten a bit happier at nice things like the money my mummy sent me for my birthday, a well-chosen present from a friend, a gayish card from Ah boy, a birthday email from XY, a message from LL.

Then something else would happen that would plunge my mood into the cesspit again. Why is it so hard? It doesn't take much to make me happy. But then again, with the current state of affairs, it doesn't take a great deal to piss me off either.

Haha I just received Ah boy's hand-made card. She's getting a bit gay... But this means that she is a good kid too and will get a big present. Thank you ah boy!

My Birthday

Today, I woke up in the morning and was excited to be older. I had an appointment at the university. So I went to get my bike.

But I couldn't get my bike as it wasn't there. Someone had stolen it in the night.

I had to make a report which made me late for my appointment.

And the day continued to be shitty. I had to walk to King's manor for a laboratory session where we didn't do much as my group had already finished all the tests.

LL messaged to say happy birthday and XY emailed to say the same. So those are the good kids. The other kids are all naughty and will get a bit smaller presents.

What a sad day. My poor little bike. Poor poor little Singaporean bike.

One afternoon, I was hungry. So I roasted a chicken. Yummy yummy yummy

The cancellation of on laboratory session due to the break-in at King's manor has led to an irritating side effect. We had to reschedule the missed lab session and the supervisor suggested next Friday. I gave a little whinnnneeee... everyone else was ok with it and he gave me a look as if to say, "what better way to spend a birthday than to look at soil samples?" So Friday it is.

FUCK.

I'm pissed off. I had wanted to go gai-gai.

The Christmas Trees have been put up! There are two big ones in the city and this what they look like:





I LIKE CHRISTMAS TREES.

King's manor was vandalised overnight. This led to the cancellation of my laboratory session this afternoon and this means I have time to study for tomorrow's mock exam. Thank God for strange favours at weird times. Procrastination is a risky business.

I'm going back to the S'pore in less than a month and I'm feeling some trepidation. Can't say if I will like it back home after such a long time away. I was last home in March. So that's about 9 months away.

In this time, I have led a life so different from the one I used to have in Singapore that I'm afraid I might not be able to feel comfortable at home anymore. It's a scary thought when you don't know if home will still feel like home anymore.

I've lived a month in Greece.


I've enjoyed a British summer.


I've excavated on a farmer's land.


I've savoured the Northern cold.


I've toured Scotland.


I've explored many a cave.
(no picture yet)

And I've been cooking all my meals from scratch.


I've also met many colourful characters. (no pictures here as "colourful" characters include murderous psychopaths).

And strange things have happened. There are stranger ones, but a lack of photographic evidence might limit my credibility.



Very excited about going home but also a little wary. However, don't worry, I will start my Christmas shopping soon. There will be presents aplenty.

Hello. No explanations given for the absence.

Sinny just started a blog, the link is on the left. Do visit, it's nice. Even though she is a tad excitable and emotional. But that's just her.

Speaking of emotional... XY has been emotional lately. In the sad way. I feel bad that I can't be there to sayang her. She's my girl after all.

My sister is back home pigging out. She said that she ate all the food in Singapore so I guess you guys back home must be starving. The stupid pig. I'll sort her out when I get back. Show her whose boss. Show her what REAL eating is like! haha

My existence has been not bad. Not as exciting as I would like it to be, but not to bad either. You know, me the thrill junkie.

I went to a bonfire on the week where they had the Guy Fawkes thing. It was cool! Or rather, HOT! HUGE FIRE!!! I overheard a guy next to me saying, " It's a strange feeling, your front feels hot and your back feels cold" And this is exactly how it feels like to stand facing a huge fire on a frosty evening.
Click on the picture to make it bigger. Looks more impressive that way.


Going back a bit more, on Halloween's night, my flat mates had this crazy idea which we carried out due to boredom and being students. Someone would hide in a big box outside. The rest of us hid around the corner and gave a cough every time some poor bastard walked past. Then, BOOOOOOO!!!!! We scared a few and amused a few. One guy just said, " What the Fuck??!?" So that was fun :)


Going back even more to before term start. Man! When I think about how not too long ago, I was flying my little kite in Scotland much to the amusement of the tour guide and three Spanish guys who were on the same tour, I feel like the world is a good place.


When I think about how I was sitting by the shores of Loch Ness, looking for the big monster, I think the world is a weird place.


When I remember how one night, I was sitting on the steps leading down to the River Ness eating a pizza, I feel that life has been good to me.


And I remember how I finished my pizza and sat staring at the bridge drinking a can of Sprite (in my unique way of drinking soft drink like it's vodka), an old geezer came over to talk me out of jumping into the river.
"Whatever's happened, don't do it!",
I know that the world is a strange place and weirdness abounds in all lands.

Yeah, so I had forgotten about this blog. Got a good excuse though. I've been dying of an English cold for a while now. It's a virus and the NHS can't do anything about it. The photos from a few weeks ago when I went to Loch Ness in Scotland are still unprocessed. Let me tell you, the monster is shitty BIG... But doing photos has to take a backseat to the work now. They are laying it on thick. Thick and fast, thick and fast. Reports, critiques... My supervisor quizzed me about my dissertation ideas the other day. That was a tad freaky. A tad.

Wow! I just found the best love poem translation ever!

The orignal persian sappy thing....
گر همچو من افتاده این دام شوی
ای بس که خراب باده و جام شوی
ما عاشق و رند و مست و عالم سوزیم
با ما منشین اگر نـه بدنام شوی

The literal, too literal translation. Check ou the last line!

If like me, you too fall in this trap,
Hold the wine and cup upon your lap.
We are the lovers, burning our tracks,
Join us, if you can put up with the crap.

I'm the Master of Innuendo, the King of innocent yet extremely sexual and dodgy remarks. I mainly play the innuendo game with Pedro, on of the guys from my course who also went to Greece in June.

As we walk the streets eating big ice cream :"Keep it straight up or it'll fall off!"

Looking at shop window displays:
Pedro: Look, that's a Man Bag
Me: Man bag? That's not a Man bag. It's far too big and it's the wrong shape.

In a pub, drinking lemonade: Hey Pedro, How's the Big One?

In the streets of Athens,
Me: Hey Happy Boy! Hurry up!
(shopkeeper stares and raises an eyebrow)
Pedro: Oh, why do you call me Happy?
Me: Because you're not gay.

etc etc etc and it goes on and on...

My Iranian flatmate now has this friend who keeps coming over for dinner. His name is Ali. And this is the funny story of how I accidentally "seduced" Ali.

I was in the kitchen cooking. Ali had just come in and we chit-chatted for a bit. However, we hadn't been properly introduced yet. Then, Mehdi, my flatmate, came in. And he said, "Oh let me introduce you. This is my friend Ali, and this is Audrey." At this point, I instinctively reached out to shake Ali's hand. Strangely, his hand sort of went limp in mine. I didn't think too much of it and we later had dinner together and a nice conversation to go with it.

After Ali left, Mehdi came up to me and said, " You shouldn't have shaken Ali's hand." Suddenly, I remembered that Ali was a conservative Muslim and I was a strange female. Opps!!!

Mehdi said that Ali was so shy after I shook his hand. Mehdi teased him by asking if he would like to be introduced to all the other girls in the flat and shake their hands. Ali, " no No NO! That (shaking Audrey's hand) was enough for my whole life!"

Alamak! Cultural faux pas...

Let us bow our heads in mourning for the passing an icon of our time.


Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter is no more. And he died a horrible death by the sounds of it http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/5311298.stm

It was ironic how a crocodile didn’t kill him. But I suppose that he was such and expert with them and quite friendly too.
So grieve, for the Crocodile Hunter is no longer with us. And Australia is left, once again, with no one standing as a barrier between them and the ferocious wildlife.