This post is courtesy of KL International Airport's wireless internet service.

I only slept about 15-30mins last night. I wanted to go the airport early to meet Sinny who madly camped there for the night to see me off in the morning. However, my parents Kay Kiang and calculated that it would be cheaper for us to go together in a maxi cab. In the morning, we spent about half an hour trying to book a maxi cab in vain. Ended up taking 2 separate normal-sized cabs. I suppressed my urge to say "Obi good! Those who don't listen to me always suffer"

At the airport, Sinny came along but we barely had time to talk. Reason: baggage 36 kg overweight. Excess baggage charge= $77/kg. So I dragged the big orange suitcase down a level to a place where they could cargo your baggage. The guy there quoted us the nice, friendly sum of $1093 for the 39kg orange suitcase. I thought, "Screw it" So I dumped my printer, opened up the orange suitcase, extracted the essentials and dumped it into the small silver one that the printer had been occupying. The whole world got to view the embarrassing contents of the orange suitcase but I had to do it. If not, my big blue teddy bear would have been left behind. Once again, I suppressed the urge to say," If I had my way, I wouldn't have packed my whole life into the suitcase" But what can you do when mummy keeps pushing drugs to you? "Bring more Panadol! Here you go, 10 tubes of Vitamin C tablets."

A sad result of all the mess was that I didn't really have time to talk to poor Sinny with the bloodshot eyes (comes from camping over at airports). I felt bad. Luckily, we did have time to ring up Doggy and LL to wake them up just for the kick of it. !Belle switched off her phone and was thus saved from being woken up early in the morning for no reason.

Sinny wants me to get a black guy with nice eyes for her. I'll see what I can do about it. She also said that she wouldn't like it if I came back with an ang moh boyfriend. So I suggested pretty blondies instead and she was fine with it. Everybody likes blondies because they are nice.

I said bye to Sinny and my Popo who was also sending me off. After clearing customs, I called XY to wake her up for no reason. I promised to miss her when I have nothing better to do.

A while more and I shall be boarding the plane to Manchester Airport. It's going to be a very long flight 13-14 hours. No, motion sickness doesn't mean being sick when you pass motion.

It's Tuesday and I'm counting down the days to Friday. I will be back in December but 2 months is a long time for me and my short-term memory. Please don't be angry if I can't recall your name when I return. I promise to remember your face.

People are scrambling, tripping over themselves and fumbling for their wallets to treat me to meals these days. It's the ideal time to pig out.

I went to Kuishin-Bo with LL, Belle and Dog the other day. After 2 hours, Dog went for her TAP DANCING LESSON (I'm completely serious) and I died from too much food. LL and Belle went to shit and came back and continued to pig out for 2 more hours. All this is completely true.

Friday, I went out with Sinny. We went to Sentosa which was so expensive and boring that we came back to the mainland after a while. Then, I was dragged into bimbo shops by Sinny who made use of my fair skin to choose shiny bracelets for her friend. We had dinner at Sakae Sushi where we did research on : How many decent cups of tea can you get from one green tea bag? We forgot to count but I think it was about 10. Then I dragged Sinny to Borders where she experienced the worst pick-up line in the whole entire wide world. I will type it out in capitals so that the full impact of the desperation can hit you like an unexpected wave. Ready?

"EXCUSE ME, YOU SEEM TO HAVE THIS AURA ABOUT YOU."

Sinny refused to tell me until we had gone out of the bookshop. When she finally did, my laughter almost cracked the glass ceiling at Wheelock Place. Some guys are just very, very sad.

My brother can travel with me to England for free. I have this HUGE orange suitcase...

The world has been laid at my feet.
I'm gonna step on it.

They come up to
Give me a hug.
Throw them down
Tread on the rug.

See those airplanes in the sky?
Many people gonna die.

Human without wings
Dreamt of flight.
Such imaginings,
Got us into this plight.

Best say your goodbyes
Cos everybody dies.

-by !Audrey, Poet Laurette to-be

Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won't engulf my head,
I can see by infrared,
How I hate the night.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dreams wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.


-A qoute from Marvin the Paranoid Android, a character from Douglas Adams's novel, The Hitchiker's Guide To the Universe

I went with LL to send Jason off at the airport last night. A group of extremely nerdy-looking NS boys where kiasu-ly waiting around at the airport about an hour before their assembly time. Doting mummies were everywhere and LL saw one feeding her boy-boy a burger. My heart was gladened when I recalled that the SAF is All Talk, No Action. It would be terribly cruel to send those boy-boys to the frontline to kill and be killed. SAF: The Deterrent Force. (Look here buddy, we've got really mean armoured tanks. *Phew.. lucky he didn't see the scrawny nerd sitting in it"

Jason was secretly excited according to LL. His first time flying. How cool.

Song change! Do you like it?

Oh dear... Run away people! Run!

Der Kommandant Achtung! You are 30% brainwashworthy, 50% antitolerant, and 61% blindly patriotic

Opportunistic, patriotic to a fault, and not so fond of people who aren't just like you, you are like a Nazi General. Back in Germany in the 1940's, you would have been at the top of the asshole list. Not for Nazism, necessarily, but for your own sick, twisted values. Then, out of superior intelligence (relative to other Nazis, that is), you would've climbed to the top. Conclusion: you would have been a Nazi, and most likely would have served them well. - new test, it rules, take it - The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 28% on brainwashworthy You scored higher than 80% on antitolerant You scored higher than 80% on patriotic

Link: The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Yesterday, I went to SIM wth XY where she finally signed up for a Bachelor of Business Management course. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a Decision!

Later, we went to NUS where they were having an exibition for international exchange programmes to look for some food. We found some pretty good stuff. We also found Belle and LL. When LL went to play tennis with her uni pals, Belle, XY and I stayed in her room and watched Russell Peters on her laptop. First time watching for Belle and XY. After watching, Belle starterd to call me !Ahma and I called her !Belle then LL came back and she became !Liling.

Xy went home for dinner and LL, Belle and I went to Ikea to find food. After dinner, we wandered around the furniture shop where I bought some stuff to put in my uni room. A blue collapsible laundry basket with an animal shaped cover and a filing shelf thing. Interesting, affordable stuff that Ikea sells. Truly one of the great concepts of the age.

It's time I blogged about my time in Perth. I've been to Australia many times before and visited Perth once before. But this trip was my first truly independent and free trip with nobody to answer to. No parents, no teachers. I planned my itinerary day to day. Doing whatever I truly felt like doing whenever I felt like it. Cool eh?

It was a holiday that put me in such a good mood that I actually took some photos of myself and posed for a picture with ah boy.

Ah boy was very excited. For the past few years that I've known her, she's always been trying to take photos of me sneakily. Like she's paparazzo. And I'm celebrity.



It's an interesting photo. I was in a damn high mood as it was my first night and the weather was just perfect for me (but Adela was shivering). Ah boy drove my sister and I up to this lookout point in King's Park where we had a spectacular view of the city. She also showed me the place where Aussie girls stole slippers from RGS girls a few years back.

The next day, I was left on my own as both ah boy and Adela had school. So, I took a nice walk along Swan River on my own. I couldn't find any swans but saw lots of seagulls, ducks and cormorants.


The banks of the river were nice and clean. Well, cleaner than the Singapore river anyway.




And there was a fantastic tree that looked like something Pocahontas would sit in.


Then, there was this bird that just had a very constipated look. Must have eaten too much fish and too little fibre.



And I was surprised at the strength of the UV rays Down Under even though I had already been warned. It was a cloudy day. A little overcast. An as I stepped out from the sheltered city, I thought it was going to rain. However, I soon realised that it was only my UV ray-sensitive glasses that had turn completely dark. It has never happened before in Singapore except during noon on really scorching days. It continued to happen on all of my days in Perth. Sunscreen is simply essential to prevent skin cancer.



On Saturday, I was strolling in a public park with Adela when we came upon some nice roses. Most plants don't flower until it is further into spring so they were particularly nice to see.



Later, Adela and I went to Fremantle market where we bought lots of nice food. See that box of mushrooms? Well, while Adela was paying for them, I caught sight of another box that was filled with humungous mushrooms. So, I shouted, "(in a Russell Peters/HongKong accent) OH my God! That is like DAmn big MUSHrooms ahh!" There followed a stunned silence in the market. I thought: Opps! Then, the bustle resumed and the two Japanese teens running the store gave each other LOOKS and sniggered at me. But they really were DAmn big MUSHrooms.



What is Fremantle without fish and chips? While waiting for ah boy and her friend to join us for dinner, Adela and I ate lots of fish without chips (so as not to spoil dinner).


Dinner was an interesting affair fraught with tension. There was the tension of my poor stomach as Adela and ah boy forced me to try to finish the food. And there was also the religious tension. I suppose I started it by asking ah boy about her Christian Cell Group. I'm a non-churchgoing Catholic and I don't really know about Christian cell Groups, you see. Adela, blunt as a shit-stirrer and twice as insensitive started to criticise ah boy's church and pastor (she had been to the church once and hadn't exactly taken to the pastor) But the little asshole was sort of drunk on food and was veering dangerously close to inciting a religious war. Ah boy's friend who was the only reason why we had vehicular transport wisely decided not to comment as I steered my ignorant sister away from the subject. Phew... Poor ah boy who had to endure my terrible sister. When we got back to the hotel, I whacked up my sister, tied her to the toilet bowl and administered water torture as I yelled in her ear that she might not like Charismatic Churches but the Catholic Church is not exactly beloved by one and all either. We all worship the same Guy. It's just that we do it in different ways, that's all.

-Nah... Pretend you didn't read the water torture bit. It didn't really happen in real life. Only in my twisted mind. But the yelling at stupid sister part is perfectly true.

On Sunday, Adela and I went on a package tour which we booked from the hotel. We visited a wildlife park which was more like a zoo. I saw a magnificent Kookaburra. There were also a number of wet kangaroos running about as it was raining.



The tour bus then took us to the Numbung Nature Reserve where the Pinnacles desert was. The pinnacles are limestone formations of upright pillars of rock scattered throughout the coastal desert. It was my favourite part of the trip cos I like Geography!


A little size comparison here. My sister who is about 1.56-9m standing next to one of the Pinnacles formations.



A close up of one of the rock pillars. You can see fossilised plant roots in the stone. The plants helped in eroding the original limestone rocks into the pillars of today. So fantastically Geography.



And the plants! The kind of semi-arid area plants I learned about in Geography! Wonderful! Quite wonderful!


This really interesting specimen has a flower in the centre of radiating runners.


Afterwards, we drove to this place with huge sand dunes, I was still trying to figure out whether they were barchan dunes or seif dunes when this monster of a bus arrived to take us on a wild rollercoaster ride on the dunes. It could go down steep 50-60 degree slopes about 3 storeys high which was just fine for me but not my lousy stomach which felt queasy afterwards even though I ad enjoyed myself. Luckily, I had the foresight to have taken an anti-motion sickness pill earlier so the tour bus was safe from the contents of my stomach on the way back to the hotel.


There was also the super fun sand boarding that we did. Basically, you sit your ass on a piece of plastic and get pushed down a 3 storey high slope. Lots of fun but much too short-lived. I would have appreciated bigger slopes.




I came back to Singapore the next day. Good ah boy rush to my hotel after school to drive me to the airport. And back to the land of TOO HOT.