Hello everyone! This is the second post courtesy for KL International airport. I've ben stuck here for more than 3 hours. I'm so shag tired. 12 hour flight plus 3.5 hour wait is not funny at all. The damned flight to Singaproe got delayed by half an hour. I wish someone like LL or Jun was here to play the tudong game with me!

I tried to find some food because I'm so hungry but everything is overpriced and unappetising, just like airport food should be. The food on the plane from Manchester was so bad. The cod fish was like a block of wood pulp moulded together with water and potato starch. Oh help, I'm dying of starvation. I am so going to stuff myself when I get to Singapore.

There is this TV screen here at the airport sitting place (not classy enough to deserve the title of "lounge") that is playing an amatuerish video of Malay dancers over and over and OVER again. These dancers supposedly perform here on thursdays. The rest of the time, this horribly annoying video is repeated again and again and AGAIN. ARGHHHH!!!! I think I know all the dance steps already.

My flatmate emailed me this bizzare webpage with pictures that show evidence of the intelligence of the Human race.
http://www.cnyas.com/tork.htm
It seems that I am not the only bored person around.

I woke up in the middle of the night. I was cold, my bones were aching and my throat was swollen. And I knew. Damned fever. I struggled 3 feet to my medicine shelf and grabbed 2 Panadol tablets. Felt like hell.

I hope I get better very quickly. If not, it will be a nighmarish hell pain in the ass travelling back to Singapore on Sunday.

Right now, I am trying to study for the exam on thursday. I feel so cold. I am a dead thing that has to sit on the floor beside the radiator, compulsively drinking hot tea to keep from freezing. Panadol eases the aching bones a little but it is very hard to concentrate on the theory of how civilisations develop from the availability of agricultural surplus when pretty little stars are bouncing and skipping across my eyes.

My diagnosis is throat infection. My resting pulse rate is 73/min. Usually it is 60/min so I'm definitely sick. It is not my imagination. I prescribe saltwater gargle for the sore throat, Panadol for the fever and body ache, vitamins for the immune system and willpower to aid recovery. God help me.

Song Change! Back to the Christmas playlist. This one is nice. An alternative to the usual.

Over the weekend, I went to a place called Castleton for the caving club christmas meal. The meal was nice and I ate a lot. We stayed over at this old chapel that had mould on the walls.

We slept in sleeping mats on bunk beds. The beds weren't separated, just a big mattress and sleeping bags next to each other. So, at about 3am, I was too tired to stay downstairs with the crazy people doing silly things like body traversing (climbing over and under a person without touching the floor. needs a good strong person who is trustworthy enough to hold you), broom game (twisting yourself around a broom while keeping both hands on it) etc. I crawled into my sleeping bag fully clothed. There was a guy already in bed and I said good night. At about 4, another guy climbed up to the bunk. I was half asleep when he started stripping. Shit! and I shut my eyes. Audrey don't look! No, no. Don't be a pervert. Erm, I saw some bare skin... In the morning, we were sleepy eyed. I offered the naked guy some water (don't worry, the bottom half of him was in the sleeping bag). I realised that the other guy was naked too (bottom half also in sleeping bag). Wow! I spent the night with two guys who slept naked. How interesting. Oh the missed photo opportunities!

In less than a week I will be getting my ass on a train and a plane back to Singapore. Excited! I want food Food FOOD! Not that I haven't been eating a lot here. I just miss the sheer variety. I especially miss sushi and sashimi. I think I won't be able to resist popping into the Sakae Sushi at the airport the moment I get kicked off the plane.

I had a nice and most wonderful 19th birthday today. Thank you to all me friends and Family who made it so. Early in the morning, my brother emailed me a Flash game he had written as a present. It involved controlling a mouse, making it eat cheese and avoid the cat. So I started the day totally amused. Then, my mummy sent me £, which I like.

I went to King's Manor and from there, set out on a walk around the city cum seminar presentation with my seminar group. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and the view was fantastic. After the seminar was over, I went with two of the guys in my group to grab food before the afternoon lecture. I don't really know them very well but when I mentioned that it was my birthday, the two of them burst out into a birthday song, right outside the City Art Gallery. I ran to a bus stop to hide. Then, one of them walked into Starbucks and bought me a slice of chocolate cake! So nice right? (sounds soppy, but it really wasn't) Then, two of us got sandwiches and one guy got a coffee and we wandered around the city, waiting for the lecture to start. We walked into a bookshop where one guy bought a book on Vikings, the other got one on Anglo-Saxons and I got one on Vlad the Impaler. And we hung around some more, talking cock and learning swear words. I taught them Pi Gu (backside) and Qu si (go and die) and the Singaporean meaning of Cuckoo Bird.

Then we walked back to King's Manor. It was still to early for lecture so we sat around in the common room. Out of the blue, Ah Boy called from Australia! Such a nice ah boy. We had a conversation full of swear words which was fun. At the end, the two guys overheard me saying "Qu Si" and they just started yelling "Pi Gu! Pi Gu!". Good fun!

As I sat down in the lecture room and got out my foolscap paper, LL called. Unfortunately, the lecturer was starting so I had to cancel. LL said she would call tomorrow. (To LL: I lecture from 8.30pm - 10.30pm your time. half an hour before that, I will be cycling. If you call between (5-7.30 pm or anytime after the lecture, I should be able to answer, unless I'm showering or in the toilet) I'm looking forward to talking to LL the Lame.

When I got back to my college, I found in the letterbox a birthday card from Grace the Doggy! A CAT card! And Grace can draw cats! Impressed and very happy.

And hanging from my room door was a plastic bag with a card and cupcake with a candle on it from my beautiful blondie flatmate! Oh, talk about warm, fuzzy feelings...

At 7.30pm, I went to the Sports Centre for caving training. I decided to do a fast birthday challenge and bugger off because it had been such a long day. I got through the 100+m rope in 18mins. Not as easy as it sounds because it is vertical and involves some rope burn but it was a good workout.

I walked back to my room in some of the most fantastically thick fog I had yet experienced here. I had to be careful not to get lost although it was only a short distance. I found my Iranian flatmate in the kitchen and we cooked dinner together. (well, mine was some horrible looking scrambled eggs which tasted alright and his was proper rice and fish). We had dinner and talked rubbish and I learnt to say "my name is" in Persian. Sounds something like "Esm-e-Mann Audrey". Then, I got out the cupcake from the blondie and we pretended that there was a flame on the candle (no smokers and thus no lighters. stoves are electric). I made a good birthday wish, blew out the candle in my imagination and ate the cake.

And on the blogs of Jun and Wen are poems dedicated to me!!! I feel so important :) Thank you Boon for your "whacking intent" and Jun(e) for your eccentric rhymes! I like them both even though they are very different.

On XY's blog, in BIG RED WORDS, she wishes me "Happy Birthday". Thank You!

So nice to know that the important people in my life have my birthday marked out on their calendars and that there is unexpected nice-ness to be found in people everywhere.

Wonderful day. I have lived to be 19. Thank you friends and family and Family and God who provided them. A nice warm and fuzzy feeling as I become sleepy. Good night.

And now, I unleash upon you the Christmas songs! This one is by Kenny Rogers. Yes, the guy who opened the chain of chicken restaurants. Enjoy! I will be changing the songs quite often to stop you going crazy. Christmas songs are just everywhere.

The blondie just said I look older than my age. She said that I look about 21. I can't help liking her.

Hidden Life.
for Grace (dog) who likes to do interesting things and not tell people.

Delighted to meet you
Ever happy,
Never sad.
A cheerful surface,
Never scratched.

Delightful farce
Of a dull life.
Intriguing truth
Of the exciting night.

When eyes glance away,
And attentions stray,
It is time for
The dog to display
Canine nature
Descendent of Wolf
The Wild heart
None can prove.

I had my first real accident on the bike on Thursday. It was going to happen sooner or later, the way I cycle. Reckless. Luckily, injuries were minor, if they can be called injuries at all. Anyway, this is how it happened:

I was turning into a cycling lane, cutting across a road. Suddenly, a car appeared from the left. So I turned left to look at it. Oh look, a car! Then I looked in front of me. Oh fuck, a fence! It was too late to turn by then so, CRASH! And the left side of my face was whacked against the fence and I fell off the bike. A random guy walked by and pretended he hadn't seen a thing. Surprisingly, I was still in one piece. Of course, I felt like I had been boxed in the ear. A few dots of blood from broken skin and a dazed feeling. And I also have a humongous bruise on my right thigh.

I got up, checked the bike for damage and continued on my way to King's Manor to give a seminar presentation. And nobody here need ever find out about my stupid accident.

Yesterday, I went for a full day first aid course. I am now a qualified first aider (British Red Cross). So if any is bleeding or dying, I'll practise the 3 Ps. Panic, Piss Off and Pretend nothing happened. Just kidding! I'll be happy to give you CPR anytime. You just have to ask.

Christmas is constantly on my mind now. Soon, I'll be changing the song to one of those christmas songs that irritate the hell out of everyone in shopping centres.

Before Fog
for Boon, who is sometimes lost.

Out here in the wilderness
A thousand paths
Dirt
Brick
Stone
That disappear where the Sun sets.

There is no one
Behind.
or
Before.
or
Beside.

You were never taught,
Never told
That it would be so
Frightening.

It is not right
That you feel so alone
When you are surrounded by
So many.

Where will you find your
Conviction?
Who will be your
Rock?
When every stone you find
Crumbles to dust in your hands.

When the fog descends
You will be utterly lost.

Quick! Now!
Before dampness touches your cheek
Light your flickering torch

Let every step be forward
And never look back.

(Boon requested this poem. The inspiration for the setting is from the thick fog in York. Going out alone at night really gives you a sense of alone-ness cos not only is vision blurred but sound too is muffled. And of course, since she requested it, a large part of the inspiration comes from Boon.)

I found Singapore Laksa Sauce in Marks & Spencers today. It had a 3 chilli hotness rating. I bought it anyway. Spaghetti looks a lot like laksa noodle when it's covered completely with the sauce. And it tasted authentic. Laksa leaf and everything. But the hotness... Does everybody know the taste of McDonald's pepper? Yes, exactly. No shiok feeling at all. Not even for me, the famous lousy chilli eater. Man, there wasn't even a single dot of chilli oil floating on top even though the ingredients list clearly said "chilli". Yes, laugh all you want. I was happy enough that it tasted like laksa at all. Food does taste bland here when you compare it to Singaporean stuff . It isn't so much the chilli but the spices. Most Singaporean dishes use about a million different herbs and spices. And everything gets marinated for years and years. Here, the furthest they go is salt, pepper and ketchup or brown sauce or vinegar. Life has no Spice.

I've had a whole day free today and decided not to go out but stay in my room. And staying in the room all alone for prolonged periods of time breeds the poetic urge so here're a few pieces of literary genius by the Master. Each poem is dedicated to a special person. If you would like a poem dedicated to you, feel free to make a request and I will see what I can do.

Lamenting the Cracked Cup
for Xinying, who understands the small tragedies of life.

When Hot
meets Cold
and mixes,
results are often
Unexpected.
The cup with
the picture of a kitten.
Cracks from top to
bottom.

(This poem was inspired by the real life event of my nice cup with the kitten cracking because the hot tap was too hot and the cold tap was too cold.)

Of Men, Women and Marriage
for Tan Yi Jun.

A wise woman told her grand-daughter,
Women can be independent of Men.
Do wise men tell their grand-sons,
That Men can be independent of Women?

What is Marriage,
If not an arrangement of
Inter-dependence?

And young girls and boys
Make plans for the future
That will prove futile
For sure

Marriage is never far from the mind of the girl with
Motherly instincts
And the boy who knows he is a
Family man

And for the Men and Women who resolve to be
Single
Will life be a journey made alone?
Or will Resolve be
Crushed by a
DAMN SEXY MAN OR WOMAN
who intrudes upon the solo heart?

(Inspired by numerous conversations with various friends on the subject of marriage. note to ah boy: "DAMN" here is used as a literary device, not a swear word.)

Cycling Cold
for Tan Liling, who likes rhyming poems

The road stretches before me
The weather will not be good
That's what they said on BBC
Must I cycle? I should.

At first if feels like rain
Falling on my shoulders
Then I feel the pain
Snow in eyes like boulders.

The incline is not steep
It seems like a gentle slope
So up the slope I slowly creep
As my legs struggle to cope

And when I reached my destination
I am frozen and soaked through
Enter class and a French examination
That I am obliged to do.

(Inspired by the true events of Monday night when I cycled to French class at night when it was snowing. The french exam is true too.)

I tried to cook rice and ended up with one week's worth of porridge for breakfast lunch and dinner. I will try again once I finish the porridge.

It snowed today. I was having a lecture at King's Manor on the second floor. The window was behind the lecturer. When it started to snow, everyone just stared happily outside the window and the lecturer thought that we were suddenly all very interested in what he had to say about Cultural Resource Management. But sadly, it was too warm for it to remain snow on the ground so there were just puddles of water where there should have been snow. We were very disappointed.

I had a fun time cycling back though. Imagine little bits of ice smacking your face as you cycle uphill whilst trying not to breath so as not to fog up your glasses and be rendered effectively blind. And the howling blizzard wind threatens to blow you into the path of a truck. I felt like a cycling icicle. Have I mentioned how big trucks seem to appear from nowhere behind you on the coldest, wettest days and how car drivers seem to think it is necessary to be reckless on such days?

Sad times for Jun and Wen. My condolences. And a big hug that reaches across land and sea, from Britain to Singapore.

Song Change! Enjoy a classic. Ballet Music From Rosamunde

I woke up today in a fantastic mood. What a NICE, HAPPY day! I made some hot tea with milk. Cooked some pasta with carrots. Taste so good. I'm just very happy for no apparent reason.

I had an interesting chat with the ever-amusing Azeena on MSN. Tried to sell her on my Iranian neighbour again. She seemed a lot keener this time. We talked about strange stuff like revealing clothes in Bollywood films and what sort of girls are attractive. I think she is really repressed.

Chatted with Ah Boy too. She hates it when I swear. Fuck. Opps! Damn. Opps! Shit. Opps! Gosh?

I also made Christmas plans with my sister. Planned the menu, decor and theme. She thinks my mummy is not in good shape to handle the preparations so we will have to do it.. Fantastic. The theme for house decorations this year is angels and stars. We have conceptualised a classy look. Foodwise, it is going to be pretty. The turkey will have those frilly paper things attached to the legs. Garnishes will be used liberally. It is going to be a busy kitchen on 24th December. Exciting. Here's an idea of the menu:

Starters/soups/salads:

- Hors d'Oeuvres. Pretty little things. Sweet ones: fruit topping. Savoury ones: smoked salmon/caviar topping
- Prawn bisque
- Waldorf salad
- Caesar salad
- Prawn cocktail

Sides:

- Escargots
- Mussels
- Tinned oysters
- Smoked salmon
- Boiled quails' eggs
- Grilled potatoes
- Satay

Sauces/dips:

- Pesto
- Traditional tomato-based pasta sauce
- Salmon mouse

Main courses:

- Turkey with herb stuffing
- Baked pork chops with rosemary. Garnished with herbs and caramelised onions
- Chicken risotto with avocado slices
- Fish casserole
- Baked crab
- Olive rice

Desserts:

- Chocolate fondue
- Apple crumble with vanilla ice cream
- Berry crumble with hot custard sauce
- Trifle with berries
- Cheesecake

Drinks:

- Chocolate milkshake (frothy and low in fat!)
- Red wine
- Bailey's Irish cream
- Water!
- Assorted soft drinks

Junk food:

- Potato chips
- Assorted chocolates


Doesn't it sound exciting? I will be the master chef, of course. I have taken over Christmas dinner since last year. I'm raising standards. It is going to be a crazy kitchen this year. I will have to work hard to keep things in control and to keep track of the time. Planning planning planning. I will have to make sure food gets served hot and cold stuff gets served cold. And so many of the items have to be prepared from scratch. Things like the prawn bisque (peal prawns, flambé prawns, boil stock, etc) stuffed turkey that has to be defrosted the night before. All the main courses as well as the Hors d'Oeuvres, salads, trifle, crumbles, baked potatoes, quail eggs and sauces have to be prepared for scratch. I don't like to use too much ready-made stuff. Laziness does not produce gourmet Christmas dinners. Yeah baby!

Winter has descended upon York. The green fields are now sprinkled with frost. Sprinkled? Blanketed, more like.

It is completely foggy outside now. I can't see the grass on the ground from my window on the second floor.

On Sunday morning, I was on my way back from Mass. Being sleepy-eyed and in "Holy Bible" mode, I thought I was witnessing the miracle of walking on water being performed by gulls. Then I whacked myself on the head and realised that what appeared to be a miracle was just most of the lake being frozen.

I bought the nice leather gloves. Keeps my hands at just the right temperature. I also bought furry blue socks for sleeping in. They look really funny. And I bought ker-nee high black socks to prevent calf cramps. Yes, a socks shopping spree.

Oh yes. On Saturday, I had a cold but had to go out to buy groceries. I cycled there and bought my stuff. Then, I discovered that the stuff I had bought wouldn't fit into my backpack. So, intelligently, I packed the remaining stuff into two plastic bags and hung one on each handlebar of the bicycle. The thing with having a free-swinging weights on each handlebar is that they keep swinging. In different directions. And there are these things Physics students study known as Momentum and Force. So, I was on the road and every time there was the slightest bend in the road... WHEE!!! I was honked at by so many cars and I can't remember how many times I almost died on that cold Saturday afternoon while cycling like a drunkard with a bad cold.

I think I'm falling in love.

The frost is so pretty
Oh the cold. The Cold. The COLD, COLD COLD

To Boon & Jun: I hope your grandmother is ok. Two of you, please take care.

Hello readers! I've had a really relaxed week. One of the lecturers was on medical leave so there was only one lecture and one seminar this week. I've been doing a lot of reading to make myself smart and knowledgeable although I'm already very much so. My first essay has been marked and I got a good grade. My only mistake was a citation mistake but that was only because I didn't know how to cite a source that was a lecture according to the Harvard style of referencing. The evaluations for my seminar presentations so far have also been quite good. It would appear that I'm not as useless at Archaeology as I first thought. We shall see how it goes.

Scottish salmon has been on the menu all week. I bake it in the oven with pesto sauce and it's super delicious.

It's getting very cold now (below zero at night) and it is going to get colder. According to someone who has a farming background, you can tell that it's going to be a cold winter if there are a lot of berries on the holly bushes. The bushes are absolutely covered with berries! The squirrels have also been hoarding nuts like nobody's business. It's going to be a cold, cold winter.

When it gets too cold, I will probably camp in the kitchen beside the oven. For now, camping beside the radiator in my room stops me dying from hypothermia.

I was checking out gloves on thursday. The sports gloves looked nice but they were too bulky. I saw this black leather pair that was tempting but really expensive. Maybe I will buy them as a birthday present for me.

My Cypriot flatmate was cooking a really interesting soup in the kitchen. A porridgey concoction made from wheat, barley and cheese. She gave me some cheese to try and it tasted like mozzarella but saltier and had mint leaves in it. I've never seen a soup like that before.

My Iranian flatmate was telling me about how one of the Electronics lecturers had brought a prototype head-controlled wheelchair for a demonstration in class. Tilt head back to go backwards, lean forward to go forward, look left to turn left etc. And I asked, " What if the person in the wheelchair wanted to look left while turning right?"

I am writing another essay. Terribly things, essays. Being the chronic procrastinator that I have always been, I decided to explore hiding places in my small room when I was supposed to be writing the essay. I made the great discovery that I can fit comfortably in the wardrobe, close the door and sit down in the comfortable darkness that smells of clean clothes. I also went to the kitchen in search of distraction and found the Iranian fella cooking his lunch and randomly discussed imaginary numbers in electronics and the use of cement to make casts of the carbonised bodies in Pompeii. I also checked out the weather forecast which says that night temperatures might go as low as 0 over the next few days. And then, I came here to write this post.

Procrastination is essential to the production of good work because good work can only be done last minute due to the need for deadline pressure to stimulate brain cells and encourage concentration. Long live last-minute work!

Oooh... fun things.
On Saturday, people over here celebrated Bonfire Night. For those who don't know what it is, google "Guy Fawkes".

I went caving again. This time, it was a much bigger and dryer cave. We changed outside a church and one girl wondered if it would be wrong to show her bum to the church. Then, we descended into the cave using a rope. I was dangling on the rope over a deep, dark hole in the ground (about 12m) when my hair got caught in the rack (metal friction device attached to rope). The people already at the bottom tied a knife to the end of the rope but by the time I managed to get the knife up, most of the stuck hair had already torn off. Adrian, the guy who helped with my hair, is apparently considering a career in hairdressing now. One of the guys lent me a balaclava later and thus saved me from becoming increasingly bald.

We crawled through miles of muddy tunnels and descended another 30m (no hair problems) to arrive at a huge chamber that contained a fabulous waterfall. The chamber was as big as York Minster and the waterfall was huge. Google "Gaping Gill". Beautiful, beautiful water. Splashy splashy.

When we finally emerged from the cave, it was already dark. Because we were in the Dales, it was also foggy. I though we were still in the cave and stupidly asked one of the fellas how the plants managed to survive in a dark cave.

On the drive back, there were blazing bonfires and spectacular fireworks on both sides of the road. Imagine driving along a dark road flanked by pyrotechnic displays. Pretty Pretty.

On Monday, I decided to go jogging to think about stuff and kill time. It looked sunny so I went in t-shirt and shorts. I wasn't too bad while I was jogging but when I came back, I realised that my skin was almost frozen. Imagine me red from jogging but frozen from wind. One thing I really appreciate is that you don't get sweaty and drippy like in Singapore. Very comfortable jogging, except for the frozen after-jog.

Yesterday night, I went to a cake and pudding party at a caver's house. Cake for dinner was good. Then they started playing silly games like twister and stuff. There was one particular game that showed everybody what a freak of nature I was. It involved picking a cardboard box up with the teeth with both feet on the ground, hands and knees off. Every round, the cardboard box was reduced in height until it was a just a piece of cardboard on the floor. Then, books were introduced and you had to put your front foot on the books as you bent down to pick up the cardboard. You know me, I have short legs and I'm dead flexible. So, I was just stretching a little and bending a little to get the cardboard, wondering why everyone else couldn't do it. And everybody thought it just wasn't natural. When I reached my limit, they actually got out a tape measure and announced that the pile was 7 inches (17cm) high. I was asked to join the circus along with a few of the guys who were also pretty good. I was very amused.

The dysfunctionality index of my family is sky-rocketing. Things are going way crazy back home and down under.

I'll tell you all about it if you're a close friend and contact me personally.

I'd like to say I'm sorry but I can't deal with problems when I'm a few thousand miles away from them.

Am I whining?

I heard a good quote today. Applies to people who whine and self-pity a lot.

"Get off the cross, sister. We need the wood."

A wonderful feeling as I write the 565th word of my essay. I haven't written anything academic in such a long, long time. I am determined to finish the essay tonight. As it gets later and later, I write better and better. I have always been a night person. There is no use trying to write in the morning. It's like trying to do a side parting on my permanently centre-parted hair.

And tonight is the most ideal night of the year for writing. Why? Because tonight, clocks go back an hour! I am so excited! It's my first time experiencing daylight savings time in person. So starting tomorrow, I will be 8 hours behind Singapore time instead of seven. Not that it matters to anybody back home. Nobody calls me anyway. Skype is the way to go if only because it is free.

I find myself looking a lot at the mirror these days. Just to see a face. (see previous post) I don't think it is very healthy. Living alone will take some time to get used to.

There was an unusual conversation between the half English-half Swiss guy and the Iranian guy in the kitchen this afternoon. Topic of debate was whether Iran should be allowed to develop nuclear capability. The Iranian used the analogy: Cars lead to accidents but the main purpose of a car is for transport. Should you prevent people from having cars just because there are accidents? He also said something along the lines of how it wasn't right that countries like US, China, India have nuclear capabilities themselves are trying to stop Iran developing its own. The other guy's line of argument went somewhere along the lines of: if Iran were to be able to develop nuclear technology, the situation in the middle east would become so unstable that a single pin drop would most likely result in nuclear Armageddon. Still, it was quite a calm "conversation" throughout which I was silent and sat eating my bread. I find these fellas very interesting.

I sit in my lonely little room and try to write a 2000-2500 word essay. Is archaeology useful to society? The more I research, the more I'm disenchanted with the subject. I'm in deep shit. I need to talk to my supervisor soon.

Over dinner last night, I asked one of the fellas in my flat about interesting things to do in this city other than going to the pub. He suggested the cinema, or taking a train down to another city like Leeds or Manchester or London. That appeals to me but being all alone means I have no one to go with. I felt sad and pathetic and so retreated to my room to watch a dvd.

The room is warm and cozy. It is quite and peaceful outside. God, this is boring. My headphones in my ear talk and sing to me but we've never had a satisfying conversation. I open the door to my wardrobe to look at the face in the mirror inside. I know you will call me mad if I talked to my reflection but can you really blame me? It is the only human face I've seen today. (did I say human?)

The English value their privacy a lot. I'm beginning to realise that the line between Privacy and Isolation is very fine and subtle indeed.

Today is such a nice day. The sky is blue and the sun is shining. Funny how I hate sunshine in Singapore and look forward to it here. The city was busy with holiday school kids. There were street stalls and entertainers. There was even an opera group singing in one of the city squares. Wonderful wonderful day. How can I possibly do my 2000-2500 word essay (due on Monday) on this beautiful day? I have no choice but to procrastinate. I'm going out to look at some sun now.

Poetic Moment

Sometimes, when I'm too tired, I get the urge to write poetry. This feels like one such moment. So, here goes!

Give me a penny for my thoughts
One shiny coin
And I will bare my mind to you
Though not my soul
For I do not know where it resides

The Body
The Mind
The Soul
The Essentials
One soul so elusive
Like the penny that fell

Behind my altar to you

And was forgotten
And left there
Until it was
Shiny no more

With a hidden soul
So hidden be
Faith
Love
Joy
In the dusty crevice

Behind my altar to you

- Audrey Teo. 27 October 2005. 12.31am

Please feel free to comment, critique and criticise and also to call it a load of sleepy-eyed crap

Song Change! Sun Years by Scotland Barr and The Slow Drags. The other song had been up for far too long. Hope you like this one. Tell me when you get bored of it and I'll find another.

The Cave, the Damsel in Distress and the Baby on the Road

Life has become exciting once again. Exhilaratingly, shockingly, exciting.

I went caving yesterday. The experienced members of the club thought it would be fun to bring us to one of the wettest caves in the area for our first trip. On the way there, the brake pads of the minibus we were in caught fire and the smell of burning rubber prompted us to stop. The thick black smoke coming from the front left wheel informed us that the minibus could go no further. Alternative transport by car was arranged but there wasn't enough space for everyone so we had to draw lots. Four people went back. I didn't. (maybe I should have)

When we reached the cave area, it was raining heavily. We had to strip to our underwear in the open to get into our caving gear. How fun. The cave gear consisted of a fleece under suit, an over suit, wet socks, Wellington boots, knee pads, a battery belt, a battery, a helmet and a light attached to it. We looked like extreme miners as we trudged up the hills to the cave entrance.

Imagine a river. Imagine a dark confined space. Put the two together and you might have some idea of the cave I went into. It was very cold in there and breath was misting all over the place. When I scrapped my hands on the rock, it bled for a while and then stopped because it was too cold. Thanks to my great height, I was completely submerged in some parts. There where also parts that were so narrow you had to go on your belly with your head turned to one side to get through. Remember the muddy shitty water of the Yorkshire dales I told you about in a previous post? Yes, I was walking, crawling and swimming in that. And just to liven things up, I did a lot of girly squealing. Wasn't really scared, just felt like squealing. LL will remember how my good squeal sounds like. Why do I go caving? Obviously because I have very strong survival instincts. I mean, nobody with a death wish would submerge themselves underground in cold, dark spaces in rushing water on slippery rocks, right?

When we finally emerged from the cave, we once again had to change in the open. Trying to change your wet underwear in the open, on muddy, sheep shitty ground, holding a little towel for modesty was a fascinating experience. It is not polite to stare.

On the way back, we stopped by a pizza takeaway. On the way back to the car, we decided to jump over a chest high stone wall to get back to the car instead of walking the long way. Cold, dark and wet night. What better time and place to go jumping over stone walls right? One girl slipped and whacked her elbow. After being on the road for about half an hour, the pain became too much for her to bear and we had to make a detour to a nearby hospital A & E. I went with her and spent about an hour and a half being Florence Nightingale to a girl I barely knew. It's not the first time I've impersonated Florence Nightingale. I always seem to be doing things like that for injured people of all sorts. It turned out to be a hairline fracture. She was given a sling and some painkillers. We drove back to the University where I took her up to her room. (the Florence Nightingale inclination again) Then I walked back to my college in the rainy night. I arrived at my house at 11 pm, dead tired, dripping wet and shivering and aching (from the caving) but nobody was around to give pity so I had to self-pity.

This morning, I dragged myself out of bed to go to mass. Am I stupid? Not really. I had motivation. I went to confession on Friday and I clearly remember the Father saying to me," See you at mass on Sunday" (translation: I'll be keeping an eye out for you so you better be there) Well...

After mass, I walked back to my room along the busy road that cuts through the university. On the way, I met a Chinese girl who was lost. Luckily, I had my trusty map (one of the three I carry all the time) and was able to show her the way. She was heading in the same direction as I was so we walked together. On the way, she got a call from her friend who was waiting for her, so we walked faster. Suddenly, I saw a baby crawl out of an open gate from a house beside the road and onto the road in the path of an oncoming car. I started running. Luckily, the car was going quite slowly and the driver managed to stop in time. I picked up the baby and walked through the open gate. The mother had just come out of the house and was looking for the baby. When she saw me holding him, she realised what must have happened. She was so shocked that she only remembered to say thank you when I turned to leave. Not that I minded. The baby was cute and blond.

Strange happenings, don't you think? I don't know if they are coincidences or just Somebody trying to send me some incomprehensible message. I wouldn't have become Florence Nightingale if I had drawn the lot for going back (it was a 1 in five chance). I probably wouldn't have gone to mass today because I was so tired out from the Florence Nightingaling last night. But I somehow decided to go. I wouldn't have been there by the road at the crucial moment the baby crawled out if I hadn't been walking with the Chinese girl. It's all been so strange. I assure you it's all 100% true and I'm making anything up. I'm not even exaggerating like I usually do. The actual events are more exciting than anything I could make up.

Coincidence? What do you think?

Today, I collected my bike from the bike shop where it had just been serviced. I cycled back to my house. All on my own, my first time cycling on the road with big scary cars and trucks whooshing by me. I was terrified and petrified. The last time I rode a bike, I was about 9 yrs old. And I fell and injured myself. So you can imagine how absolutely frozen with fear I was. I had to keep reminding myself not to give in to the urge to close my eyes as it would most likely be the last thing I ever did.

I eventually reached the house alive and breathing. I went to put my bike in the bike shed where I met the Iranian guy who had just come back too. And he said, "Congratulations! You made it!" And I replied, "Shit, I'm freaking terrified" I had to go to the kitchen to drink 2 cups of water and a cup of hot chocolate before my heart rate started to return to normal. Shit man.. being all alone in a strange land doing scary things alone really scares me to death. I need to get some heart attack medicine.

Dear people,
I shall indulge you with these lovely photos. They were taken about 2 weeks ago when my parents were still here to drive me around the Yorkshire country. The first few aren't very nice because they were taken with my father's 3.2 megapix camera. (so last year...). The later ones are nice cos they were taken with my trusty little 5.1 (so last month, I know).

I went to a Castle Howard on a foggy day. It was too foggy for any photos of the castle itself to be any good. Luckily, photos taken in the castle gardens turned out just fine. I walked down the passageway into the Secret Garden.



Here are some flowers that you don't get to see alive in Singapore.








Roses always look better alive and attached to a plant rather than dead and wrapped in some shiny paper.


Here's the famous Whitby Abbey which was once the lair of Dracula, if you believe Bram Stoker. The day I was there, it was misty and clammily cold. The dark imposing facade of the gothic ruins were truly impressive. Very atmospheric. As my watch ticked dangerously close to sunset time, I hurried my parents out of the place. Just in case the undead Count was still hanging around the place. You can never be too careful.





I also visited a waterfall somewhere in the yorkshire dales. I'm particularly proud of this photo. Looks like one of those waterfall calendar photos. I must be a real genius to make shitty brown water look so good.



The Yorkshire Dales is a beautiful place. Here, you can see the shade of green that grass was meant to be. You can see the little stone wall that you've always read about in story books. It's so beautiful that it makes you really contemplate Creation and Creator. No wonder cows go mad.



And in some places, heather lends the hills fiery colours.



Here is a picture of just 0.09% of the ducks on campus. It is believed that duck shit holds up the bridges crossing the lake.



This is York Minster which located very near King's Manor in the city where I have my lectures and seminars etc. It's too big to capture fully in one photo. Buildings like these were built to impress.





An ancient city wall surrounds the city centre. You can walk on it. These structures play a very important role in my navigation system. As long as I can see them, I can tell whether I'm in the city or outside it. This is significant as I spend 60% of my time being lost.





This is also a very important landmark. It's Clifford's Tower. I know it as The Thing On The Hill. When I see it, I know that it is time for me to get off the bus so that I will be on Clifford's Street. Getting lost is really a pain in the ass.



This is King's Manor, the medieval building in the city where I study. Tourists visit all the time but only students and university staff have access to all parts of the building.



Ok. That's all I'm prepared to upload for your viewing pleasure. It's too tedious. Of course, I have about a million more pictures but these are the pick of the lot. Regarding requests for pictures of my room, I'll think about it. Maybe when I'm bored.

I've just come back from the Sports Centre on campus where I attended my very first Caving Club training session. It was quite fun. The best way to describe it would be like rock climbing without the rock wall. I went up this rope which was attached to a beam near the roof of the sports centre. Because you don't have a wall like in rock climbing, you have a much higher chance of spinning round and round on the rope so I was a little bit seasick after that. I'm going on a caving trip this saturday. I'll tell you all about it.

I skyped with doggy before I went for the caving training. Doggy is a lousy gossip person. She doesn't know any juicy rumours at all. LL, where are you?

Oh, and can somebody like LL please check up on XY? She seems to be getting into all sort of uncomfortable and (in my opinion) not very safe situations. Maybe some good advice on how to avoid trouble would be useful. No offence to XY, but when it comes to putting yourself in risky situations, you haven't learnt the power of "NO, fuck off"

Yesterday, I went to mass for the first time in many, many years. After mass, which was held in a lecture room, we walked over to the village church where the ladies in the church fed us with pizza, salads and the yummiest apple and berry crumbles and pies with hot custard sauce and cream. My Iranian neighbour accused me of going only for the food. Hee Hee...

I signed up for the mailing list for the Islamic society during freshers' fair. Actually, I signed up for so many mailing lists that I can't remember what I signed up for. So, I got an email saying that there was a meeting at 5.30pm for muslims and non-muslims of the Islamic society. It seemed a bit wrong to go to church in the morning, then to an Islamic meeting in the evening. I was also afraid that they might be the pushy sort who would try to get me to wear a tudong. So, I decided not to go.

Today, I had my first lecture. It was quite good but the lecturer flashed the slides really fast. I don't think he meant for us to copy down everything but most of us, including me, did.

I forgot to tell you a bit about the location of my course. My course is situated in King's manor which is a medieval building in York city, near York Minster. I live in the university campus which is outside of the city. To get to King's manor, I can take an hour-long walk, ride a bike or take a bus. Because my bike remains broken for the time being, I had to take the bus. A return tickets costs £2.30 (that's about S$6.90). How fun.

I also met my supervisor today. Every student has a personal supervisor who performs a role not unlike that of a form teacher. Mine's an Aussie woman. She had 2 dogs in her office. When I stepped in and sat down, the dogs came over and tried to lick me. Just to be polite, I patted them in a friendly, non-aggressive manner. I imagined that I was patting Grace the Dog.

My lecture ended at 11.30am and my meeting with my supervisor was at 3.30pm. In the four hours in between, I wandered the city aimlessly. Normally, I enjoy wandering aimlessly in new cities (like I did in Perth) but this time it wasn't very fun. I think I'm still homesick.

I bought some microwave meal thing for dinner. Just pop it in for 3 minutes and it's ready to eat. Haha, never thought I'd be eating this sort of crap.

And now, after my microwaved meal of mushroom rice, I sit in my room and try to decipher my lecture notes of the day. I can't really understand my writing so I give up and stare at blue bear-bear. Yes, he appears to still be homesick. Come on, blue bear-bear, I bet a nice shower will cure everything.

Homesickness hit yesterday. Ouch! I went to sit in the common kitchen because the light was brighter and less depressing and also because there would be people coming and going that I could talk to. I found out that I am the youngest person on the floor. Everyone else is over 20. Damn! An Iranian guy showed me some card tricks to cheer me up. Quite funny reallly, I'll show you when I get back. He also advised me to go out and explore to beat the homesickness.

Today, I packed a little bag, locked up my room and started to walk home. I walked and walked and walked for many, many miles. Then, suddenly, I realised that I had reached the sea. The weather was too cold for swimming so I turned back and walked back to my room. I talked to my blue bear-bear and he was homesick too. I talked to my geranium. It wasn't homesick because it had grown up in this place so I put it out on the cold window ledge since it liked the cloudy, wet weather so much.

Then, I went out and joined the caving and potholing club. I just want to die in a cold, dark place.

Btw, boon just wrote a very good short story thing on her blog featuring Pooh and piglet. It is a work of art. I don't think she realises that it is very good. Good structure, suspense and surprise. She probably thinks it's a bit of random rubbish but I think it's a masterpiece. I'm not going to copy it here so go to her blog and read for yourself. Fishbones.blogspot.com

Hello from York! Yes, this is very, very far away from everybody. Kids in aussieland are literally on the other side of the world, thus the expression, down under. I won't be posting any pictures up yet cos I'm lazy but I'll write about random interesting things. There is no chronological order because my brain doesn't really like numbers and dates are numbers.

I went to see the ruins of Whitby Abbey. Gothic Lit. students should remember that Dracula hid in Whitby Abbey and the Van Helsing gang went there to look for him. It is really a fantastic place. The ruins are exactly how Bram Stoker described them. Seriously gothic stuff. I stayed there for a long time, trying to find the vampire's coffin. Then, suddenly, I noticed that it was getting dark so I faster siam. The photos are in Steven's camera cos my poor camera died that day so I must wait for them to be emailed to me before I can post them up. Please wait with bated breath.

From the Abbey ruins, I looked down and saw the river Esk. Again, Gothic Lit. students will remember that this was the scene for the river chase in Stoker's Dracula. Whitby is really a fantastic place because other than cool ruins, this seaside town is also the place where super yummy cod is caught.

I also visited Scarborough. You know, the song that goes : Are you going to Scarborough Faire? Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. Bullshit. Maybe a long, long time ago, it was a charming little seaside town. Sadly, today, it is the charming little commercialised seaside town of casinos and dogshit. There was so little beach because there was this whole casino belt with neon lights built all along the beach. And the floor was filthy. Dogshit everywhere. The evening that I was there, it was so foggy that I couldn't really see the floor (I'm serious) and was so scared of stepping on the dogshit. We quicly had dinner at a restaurant away from the beach and drove back to York even though we originally planned to stay the night in Scarborough and it was about 2 hours' drive back in the dark fog.

After the trauma of Scarborough, we decided to be closer to nature. So, we drove to the Yorkshire Dales. It's this very large area of land that is protected National Park which has gentle hills and lots of farm and natural formations like waterfalls etc. There was a very interesting formation called the buttertubs. In a sort of valley place with winds that can push you forward if you don't hold on to something, there are holes in the ground. When you look down the holes, you can see water flowing down rocks at the side. Like a mini waterfall in a hole. And right at the bottom of these 24foot deep holes, there are caves. I shouted hello to any aliens or undiscovered lifeforms that might be living down there before I rushed back to the car to defrost.

Steven and Mummy went back today in KiTTY. KiTTY is the name of the rented Ford car which had a license plate number: K05TTY. It just looked like KiTTY to me.

So now I'm all alone in this foreign land. I'm a stranger in a strange land just like Dracula was in England.

On my floor, there is only one other first year undergrad. He's an Iranian and just now in the kitchen, we were having communication problems. Every sentence had to be repeated 2 or 3 times because I couldn't understand his accent and he couldn't understand mine. Do you think it might be because I was deliberately doing a very strong Singlish accent? I could be subconsciously homesick.

I'm slowly accumulating people's christmas presents in the storage area that is under my bed. So far, Doggy has something. Are you happy Doggy? The rest will be added over the next two months and hopefully I will have a complete Santa Claus bag in time for when I return for Christmas

This post is courtesy of KL International Airport's wireless internet service.

I only slept about 15-30mins last night. I wanted to go the airport early to meet Sinny who madly camped there for the night to see me off in the morning. However, my parents Kay Kiang and calculated that it would be cheaper for us to go together in a maxi cab. In the morning, we spent about half an hour trying to book a maxi cab in vain. Ended up taking 2 separate normal-sized cabs. I suppressed my urge to say "Obi good! Those who don't listen to me always suffer"

At the airport, Sinny came along but we barely had time to talk. Reason: baggage 36 kg overweight. Excess baggage charge= $77/kg. So I dragged the big orange suitcase down a level to a place where they could cargo your baggage. The guy there quoted us the nice, friendly sum of $1093 for the 39kg orange suitcase. I thought, "Screw it" So I dumped my printer, opened up the orange suitcase, extracted the essentials and dumped it into the small silver one that the printer had been occupying. The whole world got to view the embarrassing contents of the orange suitcase but I had to do it. If not, my big blue teddy bear would have been left behind. Once again, I suppressed the urge to say," If I had my way, I wouldn't have packed my whole life into the suitcase" But what can you do when mummy keeps pushing drugs to you? "Bring more Panadol! Here you go, 10 tubes of Vitamin C tablets."

A sad result of all the mess was that I didn't really have time to talk to poor Sinny with the bloodshot eyes (comes from camping over at airports). I felt bad. Luckily, we did have time to ring up Doggy and LL to wake them up just for the kick of it. !Belle switched off her phone and was thus saved from being woken up early in the morning for no reason.

Sinny wants me to get a black guy with nice eyes for her. I'll see what I can do about it. She also said that she wouldn't like it if I came back with an ang moh boyfriend. So I suggested pretty blondies instead and she was fine with it. Everybody likes blondies because they are nice.

I said bye to Sinny and my Popo who was also sending me off. After clearing customs, I called XY to wake her up for no reason. I promised to miss her when I have nothing better to do.

A while more and I shall be boarding the plane to Manchester Airport. It's going to be a very long flight 13-14 hours. No, motion sickness doesn't mean being sick when you pass motion.

It's Tuesday and I'm counting down the days to Friday. I will be back in December but 2 months is a long time for me and my short-term memory. Please don't be angry if I can't recall your name when I return. I promise to remember your face.

People are scrambling, tripping over themselves and fumbling for their wallets to treat me to meals these days. It's the ideal time to pig out.

I went to Kuishin-Bo with LL, Belle and Dog the other day. After 2 hours, Dog went for her TAP DANCING LESSON (I'm completely serious) and I died from too much food. LL and Belle went to shit and came back and continued to pig out for 2 more hours. All this is completely true.

Friday, I went out with Sinny. We went to Sentosa which was so expensive and boring that we came back to the mainland after a while. Then, I was dragged into bimbo shops by Sinny who made use of my fair skin to choose shiny bracelets for her friend. We had dinner at Sakae Sushi where we did research on : How many decent cups of tea can you get from one green tea bag? We forgot to count but I think it was about 10. Then I dragged Sinny to Borders where she experienced the worst pick-up line in the whole entire wide world. I will type it out in capitals so that the full impact of the desperation can hit you like an unexpected wave. Ready?

"EXCUSE ME, YOU SEEM TO HAVE THIS AURA ABOUT YOU."

Sinny refused to tell me until we had gone out of the bookshop. When she finally did, my laughter almost cracked the glass ceiling at Wheelock Place. Some guys are just very, very sad.

My brother can travel with me to England for free. I have this HUGE orange suitcase...

The world has been laid at my feet.
I'm gonna step on it.

They come up to
Give me a hug.
Throw them down
Tread on the rug.

See those airplanes in the sky?
Many people gonna die.

Human without wings
Dreamt of flight.
Such imaginings,
Got us into this plight.

Best say your goodbyes
Cos everybody dies.

-by !Audrey, Poet Laurette to-be

Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won't engulf my head,
I can see by infrared,
How I hate the night.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dreams wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.


-A qoute from Marvin the Paranoid Android, a character from Douglas Adams's novel, The Hitchiker's Guide To the Universe

I went with LL to send Jason off at the airport last night. A group of extremely nerdy-looking NS boys where kiasu-ly waiting around at the airport about an hour before their assembly time. Doting mummies were everywhere and LL saw one feeding her boy-boy a burger. My heart was gladened when I recalled that the SAF is All Talk, No Action. It would be terribly cruel to send those boy-boys to the frontline to kill and be killed. SAF: The Deterrent Force. (Look here buddy, we've got really mean armoured tanks. *Phew.. lucky he didn't see the scrawny nerd sitting in it"

Jason was secretly excited according to LL. His first time flying. How cool.

Song change! Do you like it?

Oh dear... Run away people! Run!

Der Kommandant Achtung! You are 30% brainwashworthy, 50% antitolerant, and 61% blindly patriotic

Opportunistic, patriotic to a fault, and not so fond of people who aren't just like you, you are like a Nazi General. Back in Germany in the 1940's, you would have been at the top of the asshole list. Not for Nazism, necessarily, but for your own sick, twisted values. Then, out of superior intelligence (relative to other Nazis, that is), you would've climbed to the top. Conclusion: you would have been a Nazi, and most likely would have served them well. - new test, it rules, take it - The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 28% on brainwashworthy You scored higher than 80% on antitolerant You scored higher than 80% on patriotic

Link: The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Yesterday, I went to SIM wth XY where she finally signed up for a Bachelor of Business Management course. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a Decision!

Later, we went to NUS where they were having an exibition for international exchange programmes to look for some food. We found some pretty good stuff. We also found Belle and LL. When LL went to play tennis with her uni pals, Belle, XY and I stayed in her room and watched Russell Peters on her laptop. First time watching for Belle and XY. After watching, Belle starterd to call me !Ahma and I called her !Belle then LL came back and she became !Liling.

Xy went home for dinner and LL, Belle and I went to Ikea to find food. After dinner, we wandered around the furniture shop where I bought some stuff to put in my uni room. A blue collapsible laundry basket with an animal shaped cover and a filing shelf thing. Interesting, affordable stuff that Ikea sells. Truly one of the great concepts of the age.

It's time I blogged about my time in Perth. I've been to Australia many times before and visited Perth once before. But this trip was my first truly independent and free trip with nobody to answer to. No parents, no teachers. I planned my itinerary day to day. Doing whatever I truly felt like doing whenever I felt like it. Cool eh?

It was a holiday that put me in such a good mood that I actually took some photos of myself and posed for a picture with ah boy.

Ah boy was very excited. For the past few years that I've known her, she's always been trying to take photos of me sneakily. Like she's paparazzo. And I'm celebrity.



It's an interesting photo. I was in a damn high mood as it was my first night and the weather was just perfect for me (but Adela was shivering). Ah boy drove my sister and I up to this lookout point in King's Park where we had a spectacular view of the city. She also showed me the place where Aussie girls stole slippers from RGS girls a few years back.

The next day, I was left on my own as both ah boy and Adela had school. So, I took a nice walk along Swan River on my own. I couldn't find any swans but saw lots of seagulls, ducks and cormorants.


The banks of the river were nice and clean. Well, cleaner than the Singapore river anyway.




And there was a fantastic tree that looked like something Pocahontas would sit in.


Then, there was this bird that just had a very constipated look. Must have eaten too much fish and too little fibre.



And I was surprised at the strength of the UV rays Down Under even though I had already been warned. It was a cloudy day. A little overcast. An as I stepped out from the sheltered city, I thought it was going to rain. However, I soon realised that it was only my UV ray-sensitive glasses that had turn completely dark. It has never happened before in Singapore except during noon on really scorching days. It continued to happen on all of my days in Perth. Sunscreen is simply essential to prevent skin cancer.



On Saturday, I was strolling in a public park with Adela when we came upon some nice roses. Most plants don't flower until it is further into spring so they were particularly nice to see.



Later, Adela and I went to Fremantle market where we bought lots of nice food. See that box of mushrooms? Well, while Adela was paying for them, I caught sight of another box that was filled with humungous mushrooms. So, I shouted, "(in a Russell Peters/HongKong accent) OH my God! That is like DAmn big MUSHrooms ahh!" There followed a stunned silence in the market. I thought: Opps! Then, the bustle resumed and the two Japanese teens running the store gave each other LOOKS and sniggered at me. But they really were DAmn big MUSHrooms.



What is Fremantle without fish and chips? While waiting for ah boy and her friend to join us for dinner, Adela and I ate lots of fish without chips (so as not to spoil dinner).


Dinner was an interesting affair fraught with tension. There was the tension of my poor stomach as Adela and ah boy forced me to try to finish the food. And there was also the religious tension. I suppose I started it by asking ah boy about her Christian Cell Group. I'm a non-churchgoing Catholic and I don't really know about Christian cell Groups, you see. Adela, blunt as a shit-stirrer and twice as insensitive started to criticise ah boy's church and pastor (she had been to the church once and hadn't exactly taken to the pastor) But the little asshole was sort of drunk on food and was veering dangerously close to inciting a religious war. Ah boy's friend who was the only reason why we had vehicular transport wisely decided not to comment as I steered my ignorant sister away from the subject. Phew... Poor ah boy who had to endure my terrible sister. When we got back to the hotel, I whacked up my sister, tied her to the toilet bowl and administered water torture as I yelled in her ear that she might not like Charismatic Churches but the Catholic Church is not exactly beloved by one and all either. We all worship the same Guy. It's just that we do it in different ways, that's all.

-Nah... Pretend you didn't read the water torture bit. It didn't really happen in real life. Only in my twisted mind. But the yelling at stupid sister part is perfectly true.

On Sunday, Adela and I went on a package tour which we booked from the hotel. We visited a wildlife park which was more like a zoo. I saw a magnificent Kookaburra. There were also a number of wet kangaroos running about as it was raining.



The tour bus then took us to the Numbung Nature Reserve where the Pinnacles desert was. The pinnacles are limestone formations of upright pillars of rock scattered throughout the coastal desert. It was my favourite part of the trip cos I like Geography!


A little size comparison here. My sister who is about 1.56-9m standing next to one of the Pinnacles formations.



A close up of one of the rock pillars. You can see fossilised plant roots in the stone. The plants helped in eroding the original limestone rocks into the pillars of today. So fantastically Geography.



And the plants! The kind of semi-arid area plants I learned about in Geography! Wonderful! Quite wonderful!


This really interesting specimen has a flower in the centre of radiating runners.


Afterwards, we drove to this place with huge sand dunes, I was still trying to figure out whether they were barchan dunes or seif dunes when this monster of a bus arrived to take us on a wild rollercoaster ride on the dunes. It could go down steep 50-60 degree slopes about 3 storeys high which was just fine for me but not my lousy stomach which felt queasy afterwards even though I ad enjoyed myself. Luckily, I had the foresight to have taken an anti-motion sickness pill earlier so the tour bus was safe from the contents of my stomach on the way back to the hotel.


There was also the super fun sand boarding that we did. Basically, you sit your ass on a piece of plastic and get pushed down a 3 storey high slope. Lots of fun but much too short-lived. I would have appreciated bigger slopes.




I came back to Singapore the next day. Good ah boy rush to my hotel after school to drive me to the airport. And back to the land of TOO HOT.

I've been sick again. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I know that I was down with fever and diarrhoea for a few days and before that I was down with gastric and vomiting and before that I was down with holes-in-the-gums after the wisdom teeth extraction. But what I don't understand is why I keep getting sick? I eat good, I eat vitamins, I exercise good, I sleep good. Maybe it's the weather. Everything wrong in the world can usually be blamed on the weather. Alright, that's settled then. We're all agreed that the weather is to blame. Not the Evil Empire of the Unwellness Promotion Board that keeps sending Agents of individual-targeted destruction to attack me every time I start recovering.
Relax! I was just blabbering. I'm not going mad or paranoid or anything. Shit! What was that Noise behind me? Please don't let it be one of them Agents again...

Ok, ok. The noises were really made by a man who is right now in my house dismantling the window grilles and fixing new ones. The management people have apparently decided that the old ones were getting too old and needed to be replaced. My home is getting something like a medical check-up. The other day, my parents got some people in to look at the plumbing and to check for termites. I hope my home is not sick like me. Everything going wrong inside.

Depressing health issues aside, I'm going to Aussieland on Wednesday! I'm not allowing my parents to tag along this time. I'll be playing with my sister and ah boy and exploring the place properly. Sadly, I don't have enough money to visit the two on the other side of Aussieland. Maybe next time when I have more money. As it is, I might just end up in the poorhouse with my spending habits. I need to start growing my money soon. You know all those adverts and financial people who tell you that it is possible to grow your money by investing in this and that? Anybody out there knows how to do that? I need to get in on it if I am to be able to afford my luxury properties around the world in a few years time.

Just read a nice joke. Haha stupid jokes are good

Four surgeons are discussing who makes the best kind of patient to
operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating
table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second surgeon responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians!
Everything inside them is colour coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best;
Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

But the fourth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all
wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts,
no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass
are interchangeable."

This is a picture of a performer in a Pringles-inspired costume during the National Day Parade. I won't believe anybody who tells me that Pringles didn't commision this costume specially to do some subliminal advertising.

Song change! A song for Family members scattered all over the world.

I think too that it has brought home to me a very important fact. That is that it is better to make less money by doing what you want to do and like doing rather than to make more by doing a job in which you have no real interest.

After all, the only thing you can do with money is to buy life. If the life you like costs you less why bother to earn more by doing what you dislike?

-Colonel Bob Berridge, WW2 P.O.W.

I don't usually post quotes from people but this is a very good one and not too cheesy. You can read the full story here http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4132112.stm.

Steven has always seen money as one of the ultimate goals in life. Maybe it has to do with his upbringing. His hopes and adivce for me, adela and hubert have always been along the lines of, "earn a lot of money". I lean more towards Bob Berridge's philosophy when it comes to money though. I wonder if I will actually life up to it. Wait and see, wait and see.

The Fireworks were spectacular!! SO NICE AND GLOWY AND COLOURFUL!

Oh yah, there was on costume in the parade that looked like it was inspired by pringles potato chips. I'll try and find a photo to upload so you can all see what I mean.

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!!!

I'm now watching the national day parade on television. Ah... the cool uniform groups, precision drills, 21 gun salute, presidential inspection of troupes. And of course, what is an NDP without cheesy songs and dances? Haha. cheesy cheesy cheesy! But so essential to the parade. The best part will be the fireworks which will be towards the end of the parade.

Once again, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY TO EVERYBODY! Especially the little Singaporean buggers studying overseas who are missing home right now.

I was sick for a long time but now I'm well again. Naasty business to do with painkillers, gastric, and lots and lots of puking. So nice to be well again.
There's this programme called Skpe that let's you make calls online. I just downloaded it but I can't find anybody to talk to. Can somebody download it and try it out with me for a cheap thrill? I know you can have voice conversations on MSN too but this one is supposed to be a lot better in terms of voice clarity.
The url is: skype.com

Song change! I'm not sure if I've played this song before. It's a nice cheerful song for a terrible period of my life so I hope you bounce along to it.

I went to have my wisdom teeth extracted yesterday day. The surgeon was very good. Some professor who is super experienced and needed only 5 minutes to remove each tooth. There was an Indian dentist observing and he was very impressed too. When I returned home, I didn't realise the anaesthesia would wear off so fast and didn't take the painkillers immediately. OOOHHHhhhh... then it was like hell man. felt like chopping off my head to lessen the pain. But after I took the painkillers and curled up in bed for half an hour, the pain vanished. I think the painkillers must contain morphine or something. I'm going to become a morphine addict like Mary Tyrone (JC lit text character)

But the interesting part of dental surgery is the operation itself, not the post-op suffering. So this was what happened:

First, the surgeon put a topical anaesthetic on my gums. Then, he injected each side with 2 syringes of anaesthetic. Each syringe took two jabs to be emptied so it was a total of 4 jabs on each side. But due to a miscommunication between the coffee shop auntie-like nurse and the surgeon, he thought I wanted to remove my upper jaw wisdom teeth too. So on my left side, I received a additional 4 jabs on the upper gums before the mistake was realised. The surgeon was quite happy because I didn't wince at all when he jabbed me. High pain tolerance, you see. He was telling me how most of the big tough guys he operated on before winced before the needle even touched them.
After the anaesthesia took effect, my gums and throat and lips went numb and I could feel sharp pain. I could only feel pressure but it wasn't painful at all. The auntie nurse covered my eyes with a cloth to protect from the sharp operating instruments. I asked that the surgeon to give me a running commentary on what he was going to do because I wanted to know when he was going to cut or pull etc. First, a trapezoidal flap of skin/gum was cut and pulled back to expose the buried tooth. Then, some digging around was done to get a good grip. Then, the tooth was sawn in half for easy removal. Then, a plier like thing was used to crack the tooth all the way through as the saw could not reach down to the places still covered by the gums. More digging around followed. The 2 halved were pulled out one after another. Finally, the wound was stitched up with needle and thread. Everything was repeated on the other side to remove the other lower jaw wisdom tooth. Thankfully, the mistake of injecting the upper gum was not repeated. This all sounds gory and horrible and it was. Blood was gurgling out of my mouth. But due to the anaesthetic, I didn't feel a thing. You could have cut my lips and I wouldn't have felt a thing. The pain only came afterwards when the drugs wore off.

So now I'm constantly on painkillers. Thank you God for painkillers. The one I'm taking is called Ibuprofen or something. Anybody can confirm if it actually contains morphine? I would like to know. The surgeon said that it is sometimes also prescribed for menstrual pain.

Hope I didn't put you off your food.

Talking about food, I'm on a liquid diet again (last time it was when I got my braces). I eat soup, soft-boiled eggs, yogurt, mash potatoes and ice-cream. Not a bad way to life actually.

And if anybody has any plans to ask me out to ogle at the stitches, forget it. My cheeks are swollen and I look like a bloody chipmunk. I'm not stepping out of the house anytime soon. Not in this state.

On Friday, I went out with Xinying. After eating at J8, we decided to walk to Bishan Park. On the way there, an army truck drove by us. Now, picture Xinying: slim, long hair and wearing a spaghetti strap top. Of course the army boys did their lecherous smile and wave routine. So I gave them the finger and shouted FUCK YOU! Xinying was amused. I dared her an ice-cream if she shouted FUCK YOU! to the next army truck boys that passed by but sadly we didn't meet any more Chi Ko Peks. She was searching all over for army boys because she wanted a free ice-cream.
FUCK YOU! aside, we had a nice day in the park. We tried to be olympic gymnasts on the excercise equipment but ended up looking like little monkeys instead.

My sister went back to Aussieland today. I have a big bed again!

Song change! Enjoy! Though it's probably not your cup of tea.

I haven't been updating this blog regularly. I'm not so busy these days so maybe I will.
My recent trip to bangkok was all ab out eating, shopping and sweating to death. Sitting by the window in a taxi gave be sun burn on one side of my face. Ouch. It was so very hot. I can't abide heat. Almost died in a melted puddle of Audrey on the streets of Bangkok. And the shopping. I've never like shopping much. But there was simply nothing else to do. My tireless sister dragged us through street after street and I had no choice but to follow. I bought lots of weird pants. Maybe I'll wear them as pajamas (what a hard word to spell) when I go overseas. The saving grace of the trip was food. Thais know how to treat food right. And luckily for me, not everything was spicy.

The past few days have been all about catching up with pals, buddies and other alien lifeforms. The Aussielanders like Jun, Boon and Adela will be going back to Kangaroo Kountry soon and the world will be quiet and peaceful once again. I think I will miss them. Quiet and Peaceful?!?! I can't stand quiet and peaceful. I'm planing to go on a backpacking holiday to Aussieland. What I need is a travelling companion. Is there anybody out there not starting school in August? Preferably somebody young and human. Blondie-lovers need not apply. I won't share.

Just wanted to play with the picture function. This is how my room looks like, all over. I've covered almost every square inch of the wall. Planning to complete the wall mosiac and move on to the ceiling.

The Admiral's Odyssey (the show I was working on) is finally over and I have time to eat and sleep. Six weeks of exhaustion and hell. I've learnt a lot. I've met extremely nice people and I've also met nasty ones. I've learnt not to assume and not to trust strangers I've learnt to humour people. Is this what adult life is all about? Knowing what to say and what not to say. Who to say things to and who you shouldn't tell things to?

At one point, I was tearing because of the enormous stress, physical and emotional fatigue. I hadn't realised I could still cry after all these years.

I've also made some new friends who are based all over the world.

The show was fantastic. And it made it worthwhile for me. It's hard to explain to those who don't already understand. When you've put six weeks of your life into a show, you want it to be the best show ever and all the terrible times you suffered will be worth if the audience loved it.

My life has a few days to sette down before I leave for Bangkok with my family for a shopping trip. It's going to be hell, I know. Shopping's such a nightmare. Leaving on the 14th, returning on the 18th.

Song Change! Hakuna Matata. A wonderful song that Sinny and I used to sing together during bored times in school.

When I step into a hair dressing shop, the hairdressers normally have a lot of fun. I remember when I did a weird haircut in sec three that gave the hairdresser such a headache because what I had in mind was so weird. Then there was the time when I cut my shoulder length hair to a short guy style. The hair dressers were all shocked and tried to talk me out of it. One of them even asked if I was terribly upset about something. When I leave a hair salon, the stylist will all be trying their best to hide the fact that they are all staring at me and not really paying attention to their respective clients.

Some things never change.

I ended work early today. On the way home, I got a sudden urge to go to the hairdresser's. I decided to dye my hair red. Not auburn or brownish red but RED red. In all, I think 4 stylists worked on me. The first stylists didn't know how to mix the dye for the colour I wanted so he called the colourist over. 3 stylists then discussed the colour and one of the student stylist came over to show me her own red hair to see if it was the colour I wanted. It wasn't. We discussed things and a colour was agreed upon. two stylist applied the dye on my hair. One for each side of my head. After the colour had set, another person washed my hair as all stylist not busy at the moment gathered round to watch. It was really hilarious. The one washing my hair said that his hands were stained red and his friends would think he had been eating too many red eggs. Another stylist who was washing somebody else's hair predicted that cars would stop if I stood by a road because my hair looked like the red traffic light. When I looked into the mirror.... WOW! Bloody red! The roof is on fire! Help! Volcano erupting. As I left, all the amused stylist were staring and one told me to count how many people would stare at me when I stepped outside.

My parents almost had a heart attack. My little brother loves it. My grandmother thinks it's cool. My maid giggled. I showed it to my sister in aussieland via webcam and she replied, " MY EYES! MY EYES...

Song Change!

WOW! Hello everybody! To think I'm actually blogging. I've been so busy with work that email is all I have time for nowadays. I work from tuesday-sunday and usually get monday off. yesterday, however, the stage manager called to say that she could manage on her own and I didn't have to go to work. So i had both yesterday and today off which is great!
I think I'm a workaholic. I really quite enjoy my work and the people here are so much easier to get along with than at the last job. after the initial two weeks, i started to talk to people so i'm not that ignored anymore.

The director has turned out to be possibly the nicest director in the world. He is so polite and nice. The type who says thank you to everybody and respects everyone's opinion. one of the actresses and I were wondering if this was the way all aussie directors worked.
*The production involves an aussie-born chinese director, an aussie-born chinese actor and an ang moh aussie actor.
Two filipino actors including one who is based in the UK. There is also a temporary stand-in actor who is a filipino
The aussie-born chinese actor and one of the filipino actors are trained doctors in their respective countries.
Interesting what doctors get up to. I wonder why they went to med school in the first place.

The aussie-chinese actor (ex-doctor) was telling a little story about how hard it is to get old people into hospital wards.

He was trying to get an 84 year old man who had just had a heart attack into a hospital ward. He called Cardiology. Cardiology told him that as the man was 84 years old, he was Geriatrics's problem. He called Geriatrics who said that the old man belonged to Cardiology. He told Geriatrics what Cradiology had said and they said to try some other department. Eventually, he called back to Cardiology and insisted that they ward the patient. So Cardiology said, " Ok, tell us more about the patient." So he said, " He's an 84 year old man who had chest pains while having sex. He clearly belongs in the cardiology ward." And the Cardiology people were so surprised, " Weel, if his young enough to be having sex... we'll take him"

So I guess the point of the story is that an active sex life can be beneficial to health. Especially in old age.
jun, wen and ah boy. Now you know what to do if you need to be hospitalised while in aussieland.

I watched Unleashed today. I really like Jet L moviesi. He can really fight. And his moves are the real deal. Not like jackie chan's nonsensical fumbling fake kung fu. In this movie, the fight scenes were really cool. When jet li whacks a guy up, he really whacks a guy up. There was a bit more emotional depth in this movie than in his previous ones. It was obvious that he was trying his best as an actor to portray emotions. But he didn't do too well in the department. I don't think his wushu training encouraged him to be emotional. He should just stick to fighting.

The first reading of the script for the musical was carried out today. I arranged a few tables in the middle of a room and put chairs and garden benches (for some reason there were garden benches in the second floor room) around it. The director brought snacks like potato chips, dips and blueberries and everyone sat around and discussed the play in comfort. Opps! Did I say everybody? Actually, no. I was sitting on a dinghy wooden platform covered in muck and sand in a little dusty corner of the room beside the CD player. My job was to press the play tracks from the musical that had been recorded earlier. It would have been a respectable job and a good reason for a member of the production team to sit in a sandy corner if the were more than 3 tracks (averaging 2.5 minutes each) that had to be played over the space of 4 hours. You have to respect the effort that goes into making sure that everyone feels they are a valued member of the team.

After the reading session, my stage manager asked me to join them at the table. Then, the director asked for comments from "anybody, anybody at all". He glanced pointedly in my direction once. Don't you think it would have been kinder to just continue to ignore a person who has been in a corner from which the readings and discussion of the past 4 hours sounded muffled and unclear rather than to expect intelligent and relevant comment from them? I made a mental note to call The Book of World Records people that a new record for tactlessness had just been set.

I have decided to be nice and politely ignore the production team except for the stage manager who is at least nice to me. She thanks me for making photocopies of scripts and scores (more about photocopies later). As for the cast, I have decided to be politely nice to them because most of them remember my name and occassionally acknowledge my existence. Smart actors are never. NEVER nasty to crew. It isn't healthy. As everyone should know, Happy, Valued Crew = Safe Props and Food.

As promised a paragraph ago, I will tell you more about photocopies. My job for the past few days has consisted of making photocopies, and rearranging furniture. The detailed breakdown is as follows: Photocopying-97.3%, Moving Furniture-2.8%. This isn't stange when you think about how the script is 93 pages not including music scores. Copies of scripts and scores are constantly being updated which means new copies have to be made for everyone involved (aprox. 15). Fortunately, the highly advanced photocopier in the office takes a mere 10 minutes to scan 33 pages and 5 minutes to produce 33 printed pages (Scanning and printing are not the same. The advanced machine has to scan first, then print. Only low-end copiers scan and print simultaneously). So, let's do a little maths (not too much, please)

The script is 93 pages long. It takes 5 mins to scan 33 pages.
Therefore, it is necessary to scan the script in 3 sections.
5X3=15
It takes 15 mins to scan the script.

It takes 3 mins to print 33 pages. 1 copy of the script has to be printed in 3 sections.
3X3=9
It takes 9 mins to print 1 copy of the script.

Since the machine has an amazingly huge memory that is able to store 33 pages at a time, (wow! 1.44mb is just so amazing by today's standards!) an infinite number of copies can be made from just one scan.
Let's stick to 15 copies for now.

15X9=135

It takes 135 mins to print 15 copies.

Don't forget scanning time!

135+15=150

It takes 150 mins to make 15 copies of the script.

150/60=2.5

It takes 2.5 hours to make 15 copies of the script.//

Wow! Modern technology simply blows your mind doesn't it? I mean, the average photocopier of yesterday (literally 24hrs ago) could only manage about 30-40 pages per minute and here I am, privelledged enough to be able to use one that blazes away at lightning speed!

What with all the photocopying, stapling and paper clipping, crew work is definitely not for idiots. Don't even dream of applying for a job as a crew member unless you meet the minimum requirement of a Masters in Phyics and Computer Engineering.

I almost forgot to mention(how could I?) that the stage manager let me off early today at 5pm. I was initially told to stay til 8pm. See how much I am pampered. Strangely, before she let me off, she asked around if anybody needed any photocopies of anything. When they said no, she said I could go off. I wonder if the two events were connected in anyway.

Why am I so sacastic?
I dont know, I'm only a rocket scientist for goodness sake! Ask someone else, ok?

Why do I do crew work?
I'm smart. I know what I want in life. I desire only to hold a lowly-paid, physically-demanding job, to be completely ignored and for my contributions to be unacknowledged.