I find that it a constant struggle to stay on the sane side of the fence. During weekdays, work keeps my mind occupied and my body busy. But during weekends, I permit myself to rest and the ungrateful mind likes to dwell on depressing subjects. Feet betray me and lead me astray. Honestly, when I stepped out of my door at around 10.15pm just now, I only meant to get some fresh air. But I started walking and kept on walking through the cold, damp night. I walked all the way into the city centre and back. Returned around midnight. It wasn't a smart thing to do and I'm really surprised I'm unhurt. I didn't have my handphone with me so it's just as well that I didn't get kidnapped. I would have been unable to call someone to ransom me.

At mass today, the priest asked how many of us would like to get married or saw it as a possibility. Almost the whole room put up their hands. I didn't. It was a strange moment in which I realised that I was either extremely cynical or extremely different. I have to get used to being alone. Just in case I carry on being alive for many more years as family and friends either expire or get busy with their own lives. Young people like me should be banned. We are not good for demographics.

I am always cautious about calling people friends too soon after I meet them. There are friends, and there are acquaintances. Differentiate between people with whom you get along and exchange pleasantries and those who you really like and care about. One of my flatmates said that everyone just cares about themselves really. How sad if it were true. I had begun to believe that I could start to think of a few people as friends. Sheesh... why should I bother about what one cynical flatmate thinks? Better to believe in friendship. At least until I am proved wrong.